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| So to anyone who cares tyler and i are through God has so much planned for me outside of him i deserve so much better than him he has broke my heart 4 times and i cant keep the cycle going, i am actually completely fine with not being with him because i dont need him for happiness and i need to rely on god i realized how much God has to be the one that i need to rely and nobody else i deserve to be treated like a princessa and he didnt do tht, ho flat out told me he wasnt going to change i really feel like it was all a lie but thats ok I have not been more happier and so freee feeling than i am since he broke up with me for the foruth time in the past 2 months. I dont deserve to be hurt over and over again, i deserve to loved and not for my body, i love tyler but no where near the same way he has hurt me so bad and i dont deserve it, i gave my 100 percent and he gave like 50 percent if that, i knew deep down he asnt the one i was just settling for less than what i wanted in a guy becasye i was in love he was my first love, but i guess everyone has a first love but God wil bring the right man into my life and he will be going into ministry and i will wokr beside him serving God and God will bleesss us, I love you god thankyou so much for knowing what your are doing, i am sorry for not listening to you or taking the cues for what you wanted for my life, i am totally yours god, thank you for all the blessings you have provided for me. For those of you who care, i am leaving for colorado on friday i cant stay here if camp were to start tomorrow i wouldnt be able to give those campers my whole heart, becuase it is distracted and i have put god on the back burner and thats where he doesnt need to be i am going to colorado to get away form everything for like 4 weeks befor camp starts becuas ei cant stay here, God has some wokr to do in me and i cant be here with all the distraction so please keep me in prayer with everything, and please pray for tyler i know he must be hurting too but pray that God gets a hold of him, he is so far and i dont know what it will take for him to get his life together but it wil take alot, I lvoe you all thanks for all your support and prayer | | |
| WOW it has been a century since i have updated i have been so busy school has me tied down so her is the update on my life in fast foward cause i have to get ready for work! school is almost over YAY then i am hopefully doing to colorado to work at campi am not sure yet becuas ei havent gotten a response yet but i am waiting tohere and i am positive that is were God wants me or at least i strongly believe that so i am not worried. Whe i get back from camp i willl be attending Christ for the nations i know i know some of you are shocked, God has been doing so much in me and i know that is where he wants me i will be living on campus though because i am ready to be out of the house. Tyler is going to get his associates degree and then go to fire school he wants to be a fire man and then on the side do building on houses and fixing things up on junky houses. Fter we both finish our schooling we are planning on getting married  thats in about 2 years along ways away i amready now i am so in loveGAH!!! anyways so that is pretty much the plans for now, i odnt really know where god is taking me form CFNI but i know he has great things planned for me and i cant wiat! | | |
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| wow my birthday is tomorrow and i totally forgot!! What hAs my life come tooo!!! lol i think its cause i am so phsyched about NJ!!!! i am freakin excited times like a million!!! i leave tomorrow i cant believe it!!!!! i have to go take 2 test and then im done until spring break i over i am so PUMPED!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YAAAYAYYAYAYYAYYAYAYYAYAYYAYYAYAYAYYAYYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!! New Jersey her i come!!!!!! | | |
| so i havent updated in a while, somebody got me hooked on my space!!! im not hooked i guess i am just trying to figure out the whole thing! wow this semester is goign by way to fast! i feel like i have done so much work, and i have, i dont give my self enough credit though i always am like omg i am gna fail and i get an A my lowest grade this semester has been an 87 and that was on my 4 part gvt test that took like4 days OMG it was ridicullous!! anyway enough about school, i am sooooo excited i am going to NJ in 6 days!!! i doesnt seen real yet but it will sooon enough, prolly when i get on the plane lol, i leave on my birthday, that kinda stinks but thats ok, its a good birthday present!!! tyler and i are celebrating my birthday this weekend, which i am quite excited about I LOVE HIM so very much! soooo....not much new, i think i am feeling good today now that this whole stomach flu has passed and my sinus' cleared up, crazy i feel lie i am never healthy never not sick, oh well i guess i have to live with it, ok iam done rambling, mrs strange left a comment on my xanga the other day that made me really HApPY!!! i miss her, the only too techer i woul have cared to seee again was her and coach becca and i get to see coach becca alot, now mrs strange commented me, ah life is grand lol, ok im done, if you want to check out my myspace it is: www.myspace.com/bogart_the_dog dont ask about the name, my bf from nj set this up for me and my mom wanted to name my dog freckles bogart when we first got him and well meghan and i thoguht it was hillarious and i guess she never forgot cuase next thing i know thats my name for myspace, oh man ok i will talk to you all later leave me a comment!!! LovE YoU all!!! | | |
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